That was Then, This is Now: Zen Moments #1

That was then, this is now: It is very simple, yet a very profound statement (like all things Zen, this is the beauty of Zen). Rejoice in the way things are today without missing the good old times. Often people have a hangover of the past, they paint quite a rosy picture of the life they had (even though they might have cribbed n complained about that very life when it was happening). But we should realize that everything has it’s time n place. There’s a time for birth, a time to grow & time to die. Everything happens in its own perfect timing. A few years back I had a full-fledged career, a busy routine, good income & lots of money at my disposal. Now I am a home-maker & though those things are no longer there, their absence has created room for new type of experiences: more simple, more serene. Now money might be less but time to reflect on my thoughts n mysteries of life is more. Right now I’m enjoying this placid life. I can’t dream of having it otherwise. Though I’ve to do some mundane chores like cooking n cleaning, something that couldn’t have been even thinkable when I was a studious student & a busy professional. Often people ask me which is better, the professional life or the life of a home-maker & don’t I miss that so-called high life??I always say ‘That was then & this is now’

January 23, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , . Buddhism, Happiness, My lifestyle, My Values, Quitting the Rat Race, Reflections/Musings, Wisdom. 1 comment.

Fatshion Blog #2

We don’t need to be size 0 to dress up & look good (as a matter of fact size 0 looks kinda malnourished n sick). There was a time when my hubby used to say things like if you lose 10 kgs, I’ll buy you new clothes worth one lakh rupess & I used to be excited about it!! That time I had not even realized how hot a Plus size woman can look. Dressing up is a matter of taste & personal style & not of size, ergo there are lots of ‘normal’ sized women who are frumpy & many ‘plus’ sized women who are chic. Now I assert my right to shop all I want at my current size (& oh I’ve gained 10 kgs or so since then but ironically I like myself more now than I did then)

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January 19, 2012. Tags: , , , , , . Fat Acceptance, Fat is Beautiful, Fatshion. 2 comments.

Kick starting My Fatshion Blog

Fatshion = Fat + Fashion is the new paradigm that rejects thin/skinny as beautiful, it establishes that beauty & health come at all sizes. Blogosphere is full of cool Divas who’ve who are slowly but surely busting the myth of society n media created standards of beauty. This was the Best lesson I learned in 2011. Finally saying goodbye to diets n postponing buying dresses to ‘when I lose X Kgs’…I am beautiful right now…I am Awesome as I am & Here I Gooooooooooo

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January 18, 2012. Tags: , , , , . Fat Acceptance, Fat is Beautiful, Fatshion, My lifestyle, My Values. 1 comment.

Buddhism in Bite Size Lessons: Lesson #16: 83 Problems-A Buddhist Parable

English: Paintings of Buddha meditating

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A farmer had many complaints. He told the Buddha all about how difficult his life was. It seemed that the weather never cooperated the way that he wanted. It was either too wet or too dry, so his crops often failed. Also, while his wife was a good woman, she was much too critical of him, and lately his children were showing no gratitude for anything that he did for them. Furthermore, his neighbors were much too nosey and seemed to always be interfering in his affairs by spreading gossip about him.

The farmer, finishing his list of complaints, looked expectantly to the Buddha for a solution and was surprised when the Buddha said the he could not help him. According to the Buddha all human beings have 83 problems and that is just the way life is. While you can work hard and solve a few problems, once you do others will soon take their place. Upon hearing this, the farmer, in exasperation, asked, “Then what is the good of all your teaching?” The Buddha replied, “My teaching can’t help you with the 83 problems, but perhaps it can help with the 84th.” “What’s that?” the farmer asked. “The 84th problem,” the Buddha said, “is that you don’t want to have any problems.”


January 3, 2012. Buddha, Buddhism, Parables. Leave a comment.

Buddhism in Bite Size Lessons: Lesson #15: Commentary on Kalama Sutta


This painting depicts Ananda at the First Budd...
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Kalama Sutta

The people of Kalama asked the Buddha who to believe out of all the ascetics, sages, venerables, and holy ones who, like himself, passed through their town. They complained that they were confused by the many contradictions they discovered in what they heard. The Kalama Sutta is the Buddha’s reply.

Do not believe anything on mere hearsay.

Do not believe in traditions merely because they are old and have been handed down for many generations and in many places.

Do not believe anything on account of rumors or because people talk a a great deal about it.

Do not believe anything because you are shown the written testimony of some ancient sage.

Do not believe in what you have fancied, thinking that, because it is extraordinary, it must have been inspired by a god or other wonderful being.

Do not believe anything merely because presumption is in its favor, or because the custom of many years inclines you to take it as true.

Do not believe anything merely on the authority of your teachers and priests.

But, whatever, after thorough investigation and reflection, you find to agree with reason and experience, as conducive to the good and benefit of one and all and of the world at large, accept only that as true, and shape your life in accordance with it.

The same text, said the Buddha, must be applied to his own teachings.

Do not accept any doctrine from reverence, but first try it as gold is tried by fire.


For me this is the chief appeal of Buddhism. Buddha doesn’t give us any Gospel truth. He doesn’t force any belief on us, nothing is to be believed because Buddha said so.  It has a very scientific n rational approach. We test a hypothesis on the basis of our life experiences n accept it only if it rings true for us.

  

January 3, 2012. Buddha, Buddhism. 2 comments.

2011 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Syndey Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 19,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 7 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

January 2, 2012. Blogs. 2 comments.

Quitting the Rat Race #10: Finding Joy in Chopping Wood & Carrying Water!

There is a Zen saying, “Before Enlightenment chop wood carry water, after Enlightenment, chop wood carry water.” What’s the difference? The tasks are the same & yet different, ‘cos of a change in how we view them!!

Before enlightenment (in our context while we are still running the Rat Race; Quitting the Rat Race is nothing short of Enlightenment!!!) chopping wood & carrying water seem boring & mundane. We resent doing that…we do it grudgingly while our mind craves for excitement. We’d rather be living a high life, seeking thrills & excitement, planning our next purchase, next promotion, & impressing people with our shiny possessions. There is a huge Gap between reality & expectation & our mind is under constant stress.

After Enlightenment we start appreciating the beauty of mundane stuff. We perform the task of chopping wood & carrying water with Zen like ease & peace, basking in the sun & appreciating the miracle of existence & nature. Every breath is filled with peace & Joy. Profound Spiritual Joy can be found in everyday activities. The Chop Wood Carry Water attitude can be applied in the context of our everyday chores & help us realize that there is joy  in doing the laundry, cleaning, paying bills, bathing, cooking, and doing what many people sadly think is boring everyday needs. 

In this day and age where people rush here and there and express a sense of loss, because they feel they need to always be doing something noticable, I think this attitude would be a great healing tool, in teaching people that doing the “chores” of life, can in fact be a relaxing and growth enhancing activity.

This also reflects the attitude of rejoicing the way things are rather than always wanting for something else to happen. Usually our attitude is something like “If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.”~Abraham Lincoln. We just crave for the things that we don’t have instead of enjoying what has indeed been given to us. 

”The Master sees things as they are,Without trying to control them.He lets them go their own way, And resides at the center of the circle. He/She understands that the Universe is forever out of control, And that trying to dominate eventsGoes against the current of the Tao. Be content with what you have; Rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, The whole world belongs to you.” ~Tao Te Ching.

This is the only meditation I know. 
While I eat, I eat. 
While I walk, I walk. 
And while I feel sleepy, I sleep. 
Whatsoever happens, happens. 
I never interfere.

Bokuju

October 15, 2011. Tags: , , , , , , , , , . Happiness, Meaning of Life, My lifestyle, My Values, Quitting the Rat Race, Reflections/Musings, Simplicity, Uncategorized, Wisdom. 4 comments.

Kadwa Chauth: Heights of Stupidity

Every year I start squirming & getting uncomfortable around this time of the year, a time when women in North India celebrate a festival called Karva chauth, where they fast all day for the long life of their husbands!! This is the most stupid n ridiculous thing in a married Indian women’s life (which is incidentally full of absurdities like special adornments such as sindoor to flaunt their marital status!!!). To begin with it’s very illogical: how can one person’s fasting/feasting effect another’s length of life? But madness doesn’t end here..they have to further the non sense by doing things like touching their hubbies’ feet!!! What happened to egalitarian nature of marriage?? This year I tried to stay away from this topic which drives me nuts but with Facebook everything just keeps coming straight into my face…there is no way of avoiding the absurdities (women are falling over each other in flaunting their moronic misadventures!!!)…here are the thoughts of women on the ‘specialness’ of Karwa chauth in their life…excuse me while I go & throw up:

#1 karva chauth means to me as u how much u love ur beloved . with a pure heart u r full day on fast just fr him n only him. getting dressed in red its truely awesome. waiting fr the moon its beauty is different on this day. the first sip of water frm ur hubby all is awesomestttttttttt:-) cant be explained the feeling in words (sic)

#2 i like the first sip of water which my hubby offers 2 me…nd also by keeping fast i can make my hubby realise that how much i care bout him.

#3 I think its fun to get add on attention from your husband …That extra dose of care,warmth & love which makes u forget all the effort u have put in fasting :) :) It definately makes the bond stronger !

#4 karva chuath is a special day for me because, while offering prayers to god i thank him for creating my man and blessing me with his companionship, which is so precious and dear to me. on this day i observe a nirjal vrath to thank the gods for their beautful creation and making my life so meaningful,its not a tradition followed in my family, am the first one practising it because this day gives me a chance to let my man know how much i worship his association.It is to thank the gods and shower affection on my husband and make our relationship more pure and divine…i dont know and not aware of any stories assoiated with this tradition.

#5 for me ‘karwa chauth’ is the day on which i can try to make my husband’s life so long so that he looks after me always.. And i jast want to show him that how much i love him and how many things i can left for him.. And aditionaly i like to wear heavy red dresses nd do makup so tht he can see my actual beauty with ful of love.. Lartly i love my husbnd so much i can do every single day as ‘karwa chauth’ ..to take his love for ths birth nd for next 6 births..

hmmm…I really don’t know when these women will wake up & see some sense & stop this derogatory madness…seriously who needs this dumb festival??

October 14, 2011. Tags: , , , , , , , . Feminism, Gender equality, My lifestyle, My Values, Reflections/Musings. 4 comments.

Quitting the Rat Race #9: Don’t be A DINK, DITK, DIOK

A cook sautees onions and peppers.

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I was talking to my friend a few days back & she happened to mention about her couple friend, both husband & wife hold good Jobs in MNCs, are making good money, have no kids, & have no time for frivolous activities like cooking at home. So every single day they go out to eat!! I was incredulous. What use is all the money in the world if we can’t take care of basics thing in life like eating. Eating out every day is seriously injurious to health.

It is my serious belief that only one of the spouses should work outside the home, to earn the bread & butter. If both work, home life invariably suffers, no exceptions. When I stopped working after marriage, one of the major reasons among many was I wanted to give my hubby home cooked lunch, I didn’t want him to eat cafeteria food everyday. & since he has to go to office really early in the morning, I have to get up early & there is no way I could finish cooking, get ready & go to my own work. So making lunch in the morning & a good snack in the evening are apparently more important to me than cold hard cash. Also both of us coming home carrying stress from the outside world did not sound very appealing to me. I am always ready to welcome him with a smile when he comes home tired & stressed. When he come we spend peaceful time together. I can let go of the money part for a better quality of life. Some couples earn more but their quality of life sucks. & if one spouse manages the home efficiently, you can actually prevent lotsa wastage. Thus a penny saved is equivalent to a penny earned n wasted. 

October 13, 2011. Tags: , , , , . Consumerism, Happiness, Meaning of Life, My lifestyle, My Values, Personal, Quitting the Rat Race, Reflections/Musings, Simplicity, Wisdom. Leave a comment.

Don’t Stay Hungry, Don’t Stay Foolish: Quitting The Rat Race #8

Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish

These are the last words of the last issue of the Whole Earth Catalogue published by Stewart Brand and his team. Steve Jobs used it in his 2005 commencement address at Stanford University.

Stay Hungry: means don’t be too easily satisfied or grow too comfortable; do not feel content with what you have already achieved but always feel hungry to do more and more.

It’s a widespread & widely accepted myth that staying dissatisfied with the status quo is a way to make progress & improve your-self. It is assumed that only hungry, dissatisfied people can move forward in life. I disagree with this point of view. Staying Hungry is just another method to stay stuck in the rat race, that cycle of consumerism & over-work!! Wisdom lies in Accepting the present moment in totality, being absolutely satisfied with the way things are, no struggling, only peace.  Being grateful for the bounties of the present means being satiated & not perpetually hungry. Staying hungry is a recipe for perpetual dissatisfaction. Always wanting more, we become like a hungry ghost, a creature with a big mouth, a narrow neck, and a big belly, who is always hungry and can never get enough.

If we want serenity we should focus on the present moment & not scatter our attention on imaginary future.

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future but to live in the present moment

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. 
Buddha

Nothing ever gets anywhere.  The earth keeps turning round and gets nowhere.  The moment is the only thing that counts.  ~Jean Cocteau

Forever is composed of nows.  ~Emily Dickinson

A small child has no ambitions, he has no desires. He is so absorbed in the moment — a bird on the wing catches his eye so totally; just a butterfly, its beautiful colors, and he is enchanted; the rainbow in the sky… and he cannot conceive that there can be anything more significant, richer than this rainbow. And the night full of stars, stars beyond stars….

Innocence is rich, it is full, it is pure. Ignorance is poor, it is a beggar — it wants this, it wants that, it wants to be knowledgeable, it wants to be respectable, it wants to be wealthy, it wants to be powerful. Ignorance moves on the path of desire. Innocence is a state of desirelessness. ~Osho

…acceptance, total acceptance, means no desire. Desire arises out of nonacceptance. You cannot accept a certain situation, so desire arises. You live in a hut and you cannot accept it; this is too much for the ego, you want a palace – then you are a poor man, but not because you live in a hut, no. In huts, emperors have lived. Buddha has lived under a tree, and he was not a poor man. You cannot find a richer man anywhere. No, your hut doesn’t make you poor. The moment you desire the palace you are a poor man. And you are not poor because others are living in palaces, you are poor because the desire to live in the palace creates a comparison with the hut. You become envious. You are poor.~Osho

Whenever there is discontent, there is poverty; whenever there is no discontent, you are rich. And you have such riches that no thief can steal them; you have such riches, no government can take them by taxation; you have riches which cannot be taken away from you in any way. You have a fort for your being, unbreakable, impenetrable.

It is only possible to live happily-ever-after on a day-to-day basis.  ~Margaret Bonnano

Enlightenment is the realization that we have only the present moment to live. The next moment is not certain — it may come, it may not come. In fact, the tomorrow never comes. It is always arriving and arriving, but never arrives. And the mind lives in the tomorrows… and life is possible only in the present.~Osho

I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is.  ~Alan Watts

Today is you own. Tomorrow perchance may never come by Swami Sivananda

When I am anxious it is because I am living in the future.  When I am depressed it is because I am living in the past.  ~Author Unknown

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living.  We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon – instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.  ~Dale Carnegie

Pile up too many tomorrows and you’ll find that you’ve collected nothing but a bunch of empty yesterdays.  ~The Music Man

October 11, 2011. Tags: , , , , , , , . Current Events, Happiness, Hmm..., Inspiration, My lifestyle, My Values, Osho, Philosophy, Quitting the Rat Race, Reflections/Musings, Simplicity, Wisdom. 3 comments.

Quitting the Rat Race #7: Lessons from the Mexican Fisherman

Perhaps everyone has heard the story of the Mexican Fisherman. The Mexican Fisherman is the hero of the people who are out of rat race.

The American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied only a little while. The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The American then asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?” The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life, senior.”

The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But senior, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15-20 years.”

“But what then, senior?”

The American laughed and said that’s the best part. “When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions.”

“Millions, senior? Then what?”

The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

The Mexican Fisherman represents the spirit & essence of people who have quit the Rat Race. While other people are  like the American Businessman who is busy acquiring money & things & is planning to rest & relax later, a day which might come or not come. The Mexican Fisherman is happy in the present, the American Businessman is chasing happiness in the elusive future.

 “Man…sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.” ~The Dalai Lama (when asked what surprises him the most about humanity)

October 7, 2011. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Consumerism, Happiness, Hmm..., Humor, Meaning of Life, My lifestyle, My Values, Quitting the Rat Race, Reflections/Musings, Simplicity, Slacker-Sutras, Slacking, Teaching Stories, Wisdom. 7 comments.

Women & The Surname Tamasha

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Recently there was a Supreme Court decision that a Divorced woman can retain & use her ex-husband’s surname. Many newspaper headlines screamed that it is a reason to cheer for women. In  my not so humble opinion,  to the contrary, it is dismal, distressing & a retrograde step.

Why would a married woman want to retain her ex’s surname? Why do married woman want to take on their husband’s family name in the first place? This choice has been beyond my comprehension. Marriage is a union of equals. So why is there a need to take on a part of his identity??

 {Adopting a husband’s last name remains an entrenched tradition that is on the upswing, despite a temporary blip in the ’70s, ’80s and early ’90s where many young women tended to want to hold on to their birth names,” said UF linguistics professor Diana Boxer, who led a series of studies. “I think it reflects how men’s power continues to influence American society despite the fact that women have made great advances economically and socially.” (source: http://www.physorg.com/news8243.html)

 “Taking on my husband’s last name was an outward sign of our union,” explained one woman. “It served to make me feel that I was ‘really married’ and that we were forming a brand new family.” (why does only a woman need to have an outward sign of union?? How about husband flaunting some outward signs??)

Understanding naming traditions is important because they give clues about underlying social patterns and shifts in attitudes about expected roles for women, said Boxer, who presented some of the findings at the International Association of Applied Linguistics meeting in Madison, Wis., in July. “People say ‘It’s only a name, what’s in a name?’ Well, we think there’s a lot in a name,” she said. “Linguistic symbols tell us how people are treated in society.” }

 Then a newspaper article claimed that more & more working women are choosing to retain their maiden surnames. Now what is the co-relation between work & surname? I am not working outside home but that never stopped me from not changing my surname.

 One newspaper article told about a lady who got married, changed her surname, got divorced, changed back to her original surname, then got remarried & alas, changed her surname yet again!! Why all this tamasha?? Why not let your name stay put firmly??

 Then there are women who are choosing to retain their maiden surnames & topping it up with their husband’s surname. High profile women like Priyanka Gandhi Vadhera & Aishwarya Rai Bacchan belong to this category. Again why? Why the need to tag your hubby’s last name when he doesn’t feel the corresponding need to tag yours?? Besides sounding ridiculous two surnames in one name is extra baggage!!

The most distressing case is of the women (a couple of whom I know) who not only change their surnames but even their Names after marriage. In fact there is a tradition in certain families in India where a woman’s name is changed by her husband’s family…I mean why? It is a not so subtle indication that a female is expected to change her identity in every way including something as basic as name!! & yet another deplorable category is that of women who sandwich their husband’s name between her name & her (husband’s) surname!

These days we like to believe that we have achieved Gender Equality. But these can’t be true until we stop & think before succumbing to such subtle forms of male dominance. Women it’s time to wake up & make the choices wisely.Aren’t we also responsible for making our positions little less than equal by succumbing to these unwise choices? 

October 6, 2011. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , . Feminism, Gender equality, I-Me-Myself, Marriage, MEMEME, My lifestyle, My Values, Reflections/Musings, Wisdom. 2 comments.

Quitting the Rat Race #6: Watching the Wheels Go Round n Round!!!

John Lennon rehearses Give Peace A Chance by R...

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‘Watching Wheels Go Round & Round’ by John Lennon is my new Anthem , like Lennon I too love to watch Wheels go round n round & watching shadows on walls which means basically doing nothing much, living at the speed of life!! So as I’ve mentioned before too, I’ve chosen to be a Homemaker after having a wonderful career for 10 odd years & I am enjoying this life to the hilt. The other day I was chatting with an old pal & he said he was ‘disappointed in me’ ‘cos I had let myself go n lost the zeal for life!!! I was surprised to hear this ‘cos I am actually happier now, my zeal is very much there, now that zeal is focused on other things like practicing simplicity, frugality, embracing the slow pace of life, clarifying my thought processes, eating healthy & exploring fashion, some things for which I didn’t just have time when I was busy with a career. But obviously most people just can’t understand that this way of life could make people not just ordinary Happy but deliriously Happy! People imagine Happiness means only climbing the ladder of career success & buying bigger n more n more expensive things … incidentally the same friend is about to buy a third SUV!!! I mean I can’t understand people buying one SUV but third, that’s ridiculous beyond imagination (..so perhaps I don’t understand them n they don’t understand me!!)

“I cannot tell if what the world considers ‘happiness’ is happiness or not. All I know is that when I consider the way they go about attaining it, I see them carried away headlong, grim and obsessed, in the general onrush of the human herd, unable to stop themselves or to change their direction. All the while they claim to be just on the point of attaining happiness.” ~Chuang Tzu

Enuff said…now off to Lalaland humming the great lyrics of great song!!! John Lennon reflects my state of mind uncannily

Watching The Wheel go round & round

People say I’m crazy doing what I’m doing
Well they give me all kinds of warnings to save me from ruin
When I say that I’m o.k. well they look at me kind of strange
Surely you’re not happy now you no longer play the game

People say I’m lazy dreaming my life away
Well they give me all kinds of advice designed to enlighten me
When I tell them that I’m doing fine watching shadows on the wall
Don’t you miss the big time boy you’re no longer on the ball

I’m just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go

Ah, people asking questions lost in confusion
Well I tell them there’s no problem, only solutions
Well they shake their heads and they look at me as if I’ve lost my mind
I tell them there’s no hurry
I’m just sitting here doing time

I’m just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go
I just had to let it go
I just had to let it go

October 3, 2011. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Happiness, Hmm..., I-Me-Myself, Inspiration, Meaning of Life, Music, My lifestyle, My Values, Philosophy, Quitting the Rat Race, Quotations, Reflections/Musings, Slacker-Sutras, Slacking, Wisdom, You tube. 2 comments.

Thank Goodness ‘La Tomatina’ India was banned but what about these??


Recently  some people were crazy enough to announce ‘La Tomatina’  festival (as a hangover from the movie ‘Zindagi Na Milegi dobara)  in India (a la Spain) where you are supposed to have loads of fun by hurling tomatoes at each other (now how this is fun, beats me totally). There was a lot of indignation & furore over this & Thank goodness there was timely intervention & the madness was put to an end before it started.

I came across several status updates on Face Book appealing to ban it

‘Please boycott the ‘La Tomatina’ festival to be held in palace grounds in Blore. This could actually be used to feed those 5.6 million children who die of malnutrition every year. Spain does it because they grow excess tomatoes and dont know what to do with it. We certainly cannot afford such an indulgence. If you agree, please post it on your FB status

While I agree with this stand there are many thinking errors in the above statement.

Error #1: Spain can afford it: Wastage is never justified. As long as resources on this planet are limited, we can’t claim a right to waste on the pretext of having excess. To me La, Tomatina in Spain is equally obnoxious.

Error #2: But then again we do it all the time. We have swimming pools while many people don’t have access to Drinking water. Then by corollary swimming pools should be banned. We spend so much on fashion when people are forced to wear rags or even nothing. We eat delicacies when so many people have to sleep hungry. Think twice before wasting anything. Not only such glaring wastages but everything adds up, think about it.

Error #3: Playing Holi is also wasting resources. don’t feel less guilty just because you are throwing colors instead of tomatoes. The resources that go into making those colors can be utilized for growing tomatoes. This is the basic principle of Economics. Resources have alternative uses. & each economy has to answer how many guns & how much butter it has to produce. Because the resources (In terms of land, labor, capital & entrepreneurship) are limited there is a trade off between the two. More the guns, lesser the butter & vice versa. So if you stop wasting the colors, the resources used in producing them can be used to grow more tomatoes. & we are not even considering the wastage of water here. 

Think before wasting. Each wastage adds up. each wastage counts

September 19, 2011. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , . Consumerism, Hmm..., Reflections/Musings, Wisdom. 1 comment.

Unconditional Self acceptance: Rejoice in the Body you are in

The other day I was catching up with an old friend after a long long time & in the conversation she happened to mention that she is currently struggling with ‘Weight Issues’. & I was like so what else is not new?  we’ve been dealing with this problem since ages. She has been struggling with this when I had met her 15 years back n she’s struggling with it now. As for me I’ve been there done that  but now do it no more because I’ve learned and accepted the fact that Beauty comes in various sizes, from XS to XXXL & beyond. Everyone has a natural frame & to desire a weight below a certain level is losing, unrealistic, unnecessary & stupid battle. Trust me I’ve started looking more beautiful now even with the extra kilos than I used to look when I thought I was fat & not okay!!!

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I believe this constant struggle is less because of the actual body weight & more because we believe that we need to look a certain way & weigh a certain weight in order to look good & be healthy.

Society has set certain unrealistic standards of what is beautiful.

Like for example in India light/fair skin color is the ultimate hallmark of beauty. Everyone wants to marry a fair lady. The fairness cream industry is booming. Advertisements go so far as to claim that a guy is the lucky one if he gets a fair bride, but a dark gal is lucky if she’s getting married at all.

& here is the mother of all crappy things which are shoved at us: if you want to win back your ex start using (Pond’s white beauty) fairness cream & in no time the ex will realize that what a dumb thing he did to dump the new fairer you for another woman who was good enough for him before but since then lost the battle forhis attention by your new fairer avatar.

Pond’s white beauty has actually made these blasphemous Ads with Priyanka Chpra , Saif ali Khan & Neha Dhupia. See them for yourself :




 Many dusky (young & impressionable) girls buy into these ideas & spend their time n money on fairness creams waiting for a miracle which is never really delivered & thus lose their focus on real things like education & career & losing their self esteem in the bargain.

But I digress. But then again, the struggle for weight loss is very similar. We refer to some artificial society created standard for ideal body & we are no longer happy with the body we are blessed with. & the worst part is for pursuing this unrealistic quest we keep on postponing our happiness, thinking we would be happy only after we attain a certain weight.In the bargain we miss all that is beautiful in us right now in the present moment.

Airbrushed & photo shopped models reinforce these false ideals. Who is in charge of defining what is beautiful??

Another myth is fat is unhealthy. It’s not the case. We can be healthy at any size. Fat people become unhealthy by obsessing over their weight & hence remaining depressed. It’s not the weight that is the culprit but worries over losing it. Going on yo-yo diets or starving your self of food n required nutrients is responsible for bad health. I am perfectly healthy at my sister in law who is same age as me but far far slimmer is suffering from hypertension & diabetes. This is just one case to illustrate the point. But you can check out the scientific facts & research by visiting ‘Healthy at any Size’ website & reading the book : Healthy at any Size: The surprising truth about your weight.

Our focus should be on maintaining good health by excersizing moderately & eating a healthy well balanced diet rather than starving & going on crash diets. Acceptance doesn’t mean that we will start binging n hogging mindlessly. N yes to dress in such a way that flatters our figure. I feel mostly people above a certain weight either dress dowdily in too loose unflattering clothes or trying to dress like skinny people. Both these strategies are a huge mistake. Or even worse they just avoid dressing up thinking who cares when I’m going to look bad in any case. But again a mistake. These days lots of brands are coming with trendy wear in plus sizes.  So go ahead, indulge yourself & put your best foot forward.

This is the road to being healthy, beautiful & wise.

September 17, 2011. Tags: , . Fat Acceptance, Reflections/Musings. 2 comments.

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