Unconditional Self acceptance: Rejoice in the Body you are in

The other day I was catching up with an old friend after a long long time & in the conversation she happened to mention that she is currently struggling with ‘Weight Issues’. & I was like so what else is not new?  we’ve been dealing with this problem since ages. She has been struggling with this when I had met her 15 years back n she’s struggling with it now. As for me I’ve been there done that  but now do it no more because I’ve learned and accepted the fact that Beauty comes in various sizes, from XS to XXXL & beyond. Everyone has a natural frame & to desire a weight below a certain level is losing, unrealistic, unnecessary & stupid battle. Trust me I’ve started looking more beautiful now even with the extra kilos than I used to look when I thought I was fat & not okay!!!

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I believe this constant struggle is less because of the actual body weight & more because we believe that we need to look a certain way & weigh a certain weight in order to look good & be healthy.

Society has set certain unrealistic standards of what is beautiful.

Like for example in India light/fair skin color is the ultimate hallmark of beauty. Everyone wants to marry a fair lady. The fairness cream industry is booming. Advertisements go so far as to claim that a guy is the lucky one if he gets a fair bride, but a dark gal is lucky if she’s getting married at all.

& here is the mother of all crappy things which are shoved at us: if you want to win back your ex start using (Pond’s white beauty) fairness cream & in no time the ex will realize that what a dumb thing he did to dump the new fairer you for another woman who was good enough for him before but since then lost the battle forhis attention by your new fairer avatar.

Pond’s white beauty has actually made these blasphemous Ads with Priyanka Chpra , Saif ali Khan & Neha Dhupia. See them for yourself :

 Many dusky (young & impressionable) girls buy into these ideas & spend their time n money on fairness creams waiting for a miracle which is never really delivered & thus lose their focus on real things like education & career & losing their self esteem in the bargain.

But I digress. But then again, the struggle for weight loss is very similar. We refer to some artificial society created standard for ideal body & we are no longer happy with the body we are blessed with. & the worst part is for pursuing this unrealistic quest we keep on postponing our happiness, thinking we would be happy only after we attain a certain weight.In the bargain we miss all that is beautiful in us right now in the present moment.

Airbrushed & photo shopped models reinforce these false ideals. Who is in charge of defining what is beautiful??

Another myth is fat is unhealthy. It’s not the case. We can be healthy at any size. Fat people become unhealthy by obsessing over their weight & hence remaining depressed. It’s not the weight that is the culprit but worries over losing it. Going on yo-yo diets or starving your self of food n required nutrients is responsible for bad health. I am perfectly healthy at my sister in law who is same age as me but far far slimmer is suffering from hypertension & diabetes. This is just one case to illustrate the point. But you can check out the scientific facts & research by visiting ‘Healthy at any Size’ website & reading the book : Healthy at any Size: The surprising truth about your weight.

Our focus should be on maintaining good health by excersizing moderately & eating a healthy well balanced diet rather than starving & going on crash diets. Acceptance doesn’t mean that we will start binging n hogging mindlessly. N yes to dress in such a way that flatters our figure. I feel mostly people above a certain weight either dress dowdily in too loose unflattering clothes or trying to dress like skinny people. Both these strategies are a huge mistake. Or even worse they just avoid dressing up thinking who cares when I’m going to look bad in any case. But again a mistake. These days lots of brands are coming with trendy wear in plus sizes.  So go ahead, indulge yourself & put your best foot forward.

This is the road to being healthy, beautiful & wise.


September 17, 2011. Tags: , . Fat Acceptance, Reflections/Musings.


  1. reflectionofabuddhistmonk replied:

    Bravo!! Beautiful example of how not to give into the suffering this life creates. Great article.

  2. ritusthoughtcatcher replied:

    Hey thanks a lot Caine..hey you just said it…in life we create a lot of needless suffering..when we believe in certain unnecessary ‘shoulds’ …in life there is not should..things are beautiful just the way they are. 🙂

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