Zen & the Art of Being A Happy Home-Maker
After being a person whose life revolved around a career, I got married to an Air-Force officer whose work involves frequent postings to obscure places where career opportunities are not easy to come by. So I’ve been a home-maker for the past 1.5 years & surrounded by many women who are in similar situation. What I find is most of these women are reluctant, frustrated home-makers, getting bored & just biding time till they can join the work force again. But for me home making has been an exciting adventure. As I see it the world is divided into two types of housewives: The Happy Housewife & the reluctant Housewife. The former is a rare tribe while the world is full of the later.
Some of the phrases that I hear frequently against being a homemaker & my counter thoughts:
#1. It’s so boring/ you must be getting bored staying at home: Well not really. For me staying at home is actually more exciting than going out for work. Good Riddance to the Rat Race. For one it has given me an opportunity to explore my myriad hobbies & interest in depth. It gives me time to think my thoughts & form indepth opinions about the things that matter to me. I find time to take long walks with my i pod for company. I listen to music while making lunch & doing chores. I mean this is a real luxury: to spend one’s day as one wants.
#2 You are wasting your Talent: I’m like hellooo is making money the only use of one’s talents?? As someone remarked “I can’t afford to waste my time making money”. This holds good for me. With loads of time I’m able to express my talents (whatever little talent I have that is) in various ways through blogging, photography, etc. True this doesn’t earn me a penny. But the joy & satisfaction that I get more than makes up for the money I don’t earn. After all what is money but a means to an end of achieving happiness?? If I achieve that end by bypassing the conventional mean, so much better. I really loved the way in Victorain Novels as soon as a guy landed in some money by way of inheritence etc. he immediately gave up a career & settled into a life of peaceful leisure pursuing the finer things in life.
#3. Not having your own money sucks (Some women have told me they feel uncomfortable asking their spouses for money): For me it doesn’t ‘cos
a) I regard hubby’s money as my own. As we see it, a successful partnership has many aspects n the partners can contribute in several ways. While he takes care of the bread n the butter, I enrich the relationship by spending my time exploring & finding: great & meaningful movies for us to watch together & I later analyze & review them in depth; beautiful books for us to read; Amazing places for us to visit & so on…& yeah of course while he brings the food (so to say) ,I cook it n put it on the table. For us neither of the work is more or less important & me not bringing money home doesn’t make our relationship unbalanced or skewed.
b) A penny saved is penny earned. Over the years I’ve adopted voluntary simplicity & instead of finding joy in stuff & excitement of a so-called high life we find it more in spending time peacefully pursuing calm hobbies like reading, photography, watching movies, blogging etc.
- Poll: What Do You Think of New ‘Real Housewives of Orange County’ Housewife Peggy Tanous?? (crushable.com)
- Bohemians Then and Now (wisebread.com)
- Let’s Talk About it: Things that Make our Hair Stand on End. (deanaohara.com)
- Laughing Legs At The Ugly Woman Blog (thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com)
- I M A: Feminist. R U? (elizabethfrances.wordpress.com)